Letting 'them' decide!!!

 Off late there are memes going around on gen-Z and their working style or rather lifestyle! Everything zeroes into how whimsical they are.

As per my observation and thinking goes, letting children decide on 'EVERYTHING' is not really making them SMART. 

Mammals like elephants and cattle grow up in herds with a leader of the team. Ants follow strict hierarchy. No single ant owns an entire anthill. Same goes with honeybees. That is also the reason they are collectively protected from predators and hunger.

Candies or chocolates? Blue dress or green dress? yes. they can decide. Because there are hardly impacts and repercussions. Asking them on everything, like where to go on holidays, where to eat out, which school, which subject, which car for the house, which channel to watch? Which brand to wear... Can children decide? They can. Should we allow? NO.

Why NO?

I try to list few reasons on why NO.

1. Learn them to understand that not every decision can be theirs. So, to be good LEADERS they should also be good FOLLOWERs and LISTENERs.

2. Disappointments: There has to be disappointments for every human being to understand that things can go wrong and we have to live with it and we CAN. It has to be learnt from childhood.

3. Major things in life are not decided by us: ex: Can our country have wars? Can we have this public infrastructure near our residence? Can our council decide on a project in our town? Traffic rule changes, can we have it changed? Policy changes - can we have a say in it? Rule of our schools, institutions, community, place of work? Everywhere we are the followers and not rules. So, not everything can be acceptable and convenient. But still, we need to follow. So, teach children that following is equally important as deciding.

4. Respect the experts / Authority / Hierarchy: Children learning to value the experts and experience. Can a child decide on his or her medical issues? NO. Can we do that as adults, still NO. What will happen if we don't seek and accept the suggestions of professionals. We tend to fail. But 'I decide' can spoil the real decision making and end up making a child an ego-centric adolescent or adult than a good decision maker let alone be an 'unruly' child. They may also develop a tendency to find it difficult to work in hierarchical structure like offices where a boss' instructions need to be followed. 

5. Repercussions: Every child that grows need to understand that there are repercussions of decisions. If he/she has chosen something, they need to be given chance to check until the end of decision making and impact cycle. If he/she didn't like blue dress later on don't buy another. Children need to learn to live with it so that they care for next time when they get to decide.

6. Earning the role: Best leaders are the one who are unanimously chosen. Because the people who chose them do so because they have TRUST in their abilities to lead. This trust in EARNED by the leader. So, every child should go through some amount of imperfect childhood wherein they don't get to choose but develop a longing for that. That is the time they learn to EARN it by hard work and acquiring qualification to do so.

7. Being answerable: Those who are in position of taking decisions should also be answerable. They are subjected to criticisms and praise. Sometimes, the leaders are even forgotten, and some others take the credit away. Sometimes it is also about not DECIDING but EXECUTING which depends upon influence and follow up. The decision maker has NO CHOICE but to accept and face the aftermath of their choices.

Value of freedom is learnt in the absence of it!!

Value of decision making is learnt when that role is earned!!

Small wounds and small mistakes and small falls are enablers of longevity. 

Life choses us when we are ready for it. 

Rest of them are short cuts it may be or may not be yielding. There is no guarantee!!!

If you have a gen-Z in your team or home think about these :)